Fee's Haircut/Transcript

[The episode starts off on a high tree bark, where Harvey, Fee, and Foo are standing on]

Fee: Alright, you guys ready to jump?

Harvey: Umm...actually, you know what would make me feel more comfortable? [Sits down] If I sit like this. That way I could just fall forward, OK?

Fee: How ever you want to do it, dude. Ready set go! [The twins jump off, Harvey falls off]

Harvey: Whee! [All three fall into the garbage, the twins laugh] Eww, gross. How did I let you guys talk me into this?

Randl: [Comes out] Hey you kids get out of there, that's my good garbage! [The three get out of the garbage, laughter]

Harvey: Hey Fee? You got something in your hair.

Fee: Oh really? [Tries to get the gum that is stuck on Fee's hair out] Uh oh.

Harvey: This looks like a job for the doctors.

Foo: M-hm m-hm. [Back in Harvey's room]

Harvey: Ok, doctor. I'm gonna try some radical new treatments.

Fee: Treatments?

Harvey: Peanut butter. [Foo gives Harvey the peanut butter to Harvey to put on Fee's hair] Jelly. [Same thing with peanut butter] Toothpaste. [Same thing with peanut butter, and jelly] Mayonnaise. [Same thing with peanut butter, jelly, and toothpaste] Hmm. I'm afraid it's not responding. Dr. Foo, looks like we're gonna have to operate.

Fee: What?

Foo: Very well. [Harvey and Foo switch spots] Thingy. [Harvey gives Foo rubber band to put on Fee's hair] Cutty thingy. [Harvey gives Foo scissors] OK, don't move. [Cuts part of Fee's hair, Harvey looks at the bald spot Foo gave to Fee]

Harvey: Hmm.

Fee: Ooh, I wanna see. [Tries to look at the part of her hair Harvey and Foo cut, Miriam knocks on the door, comes in with tray of cookies]

Miriam: Hey kids, I brought you some snacks. [Sees Fee's bald spot which Fee is trying to look at, stops] Oh, honey. No. [Scene cuts title card, the scene goes to Tara's Hair Parlour] Don't worry, Fee. Tara will take great care of you. I really appreciate you squeezing us in, Tara. It-

Tara: OK, I don't have time for compliments. Here's a tabloid [Gives Miriam tabloid] You go wait over there. You ready, kid?

Fee: You're not gonna kill me, are you?

Tara: [Laughs] Honey, you're gonna be reborn. [Tara cuts Fee"s hair, turns chair at mirror] So, what do you think.

Fee: What are you looking at kid? [Punches mirror]

Miriam: Fee, come on. You know how mirrors look. [Fee looks at mirror, surprised at how beautiful she looks]

Fee: Holy crud, that's me! This is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. [Turns chair around] Thanks, Mrs. Beaks. Thanks, Mrs. Meatball. I've got to show everybody! [Walks off]

Tara: It's tara. I'm not a meatball. My name's in the front with a big picture of me- [Door closes] Aw, whatever. [Scene goes to Piri Piri, Claire, and that deer girl painting Princess's pose]

Piri Piri: Princess, I just wanted to say that you're a fantastic figure modle.

Princess: Don't you think I already know that? Geez! [Fruit falls off bowl, glowing pink showing, Claire looks]

Claire: Whoa, guys look. I think it's Fee.

Fee: Hey, doofuses. [Fee sways her hair]

Piri Piri: [Gasps] Did you get touched by an angel?

Princess: NO! [Drops bowl of fruit] No one's allowed to get touched by angels but ME! [Everyone runs to Fee's hair, they touch the hair, chatter]

Claire: It's so soft, and smooth.

Fee: You like that, huh?

Piri Piri: I wanna marry your hair!

Fee: Alright, [shoos everyone off] everybody stop touching.

Harvey: Hey, Fee. Your hair looks really cool.

Foo: Yeah, I like it. It's like a big shiny pillow.

Fee: Yeah! [Foo jumps on Fee's hair]

Foo: I wanna wrestle with it! [Plays with her hair, laughing]

Fee: Alright, dudes. We've got stuff to do. [All three go] Lest go find some mud hills to slide on. [Scene cuts to a mud hill, with the three on the top]

Foo: I wanna get it all over my face! [Slides down mud hill laughing, switches over to front, then to the back] Yeah! [Lands in big mud puddle, and Foo is all covered in mud] Yeah!

Fee: Make room for me! [Slides down mud hill, and lands on the big puddle making her all covered in mud, both laugh, scene cuts back to Tara's Hair Parlor]

Tara: Good thing for you my 3:00 canceled. This will just take a sec. Cody! Brandon! Holly! You put that curling iron down right now! Don't make me say it again. [Spider kids puts down curling iron, and walks off, Tara cuts Fee's hair]

Fee: Sweet, I got awesome hair again.

Tara: Uh-huh. Now maybe this time you can be more careful with your head.

Fee: Oh yeah. I will definitely be more careful for sure. [Scene shows Harvey, Foo, and Fee playing catch, and Harvey and Foo are being dragged by them holding on to Fee's hair, scene goes back to the parlor with Fee's hair being cut again, scene goes to the trio running, and a thorn rips off part of Fee's hair, scene goes back to the parkour once again where Fee is getting another haircut, scene goes to Harvey's kitchen where Fee is using a batter to stir up something, and Fee lifts up the batter and sticks out her tounge] Ahhh. [Scene goes back ONCE AGAIN where Fee is getting ANOTHER haircut]

Tara: Oh boy. [Scene goes back to where Fee throws a boomerang, and the boomerang comes back to cut off part of Fee's hair again, Fee feels her hair, and scene goes to the parkour one more time, where Tara is finished cutting her hair] Alright, sweetie. I need you to listen to me closely, this is absolutely the shortest I can go. If you mess up your hair again, I mean one more time, I won't be able to fix it.

Fee: Holy guacamole! Seriously?

Tara: Kid, I gave birth to 500 babies. You think I have time for jokes? [Climbs up silk, and Fee touches her hair and looks in the mirror with a terrified look]

Fee: No more amazing hair? [Fee goes outside, and Harvey and Foo come in with water balloons] Foo: Hey, catch. [Foo throws water balloon, and nearly hits Fee]

Fee: Ah!

Harvey: Hey, catch. [Harvey throws water balloon, and just hits Foo's head]

Foo: Ha! You're bad at throwing, and you're bad at catching.

Fee: Dude, what the heck? You almost hit my hair.

Foo: Yep. [Foo throws water balloon, and goes over Fee]

Fee: Foo, stop! I can't let anything happen to my hair again. That means no more playing with water, or mud, or knives.

Foo: OK...well, what are we supposed to do for fun?

Fee: Well, we're just gonna have to find less fun things to do. Harvey?

Harvey: I know plenty of activities! [Scene goes to Harvey's room, where Harvey, and the twins play cards]

Fee: Does anyone have a three?

Harvey; Hmm...yep. [Raises card, and slaps it on the ground]

Fee: Whoa! Careful, man. Don't slap your card so hard. The breeze might mess up my hair.

Harvey: Oh, I'm sorry.

Fee: Alao, I'm worried you guys might cough, and make my hair sick. I need you to back a little. [Harvey and Foo back up] A little more. [Harvey and Foo back up again] More. [Harvey and Foo back up as much as they can] A little more.

Foo: Ugh! [Foo throws his hard down, and runs up to Fee] I don't care how cool your hair looks, I don't like it anymore! [Cries, runs out of the room, and slams the door three times]

Fee: Yeesh, what's his problem?

Harvey: Well, Fee? I think your haircut's starting to make things difficult. You're acting different.

Fee: This hair is the best thing that's ever happened to me. Now when people see me, they tell me I look great. You just don't understand because your hair is...well, boring.

Harvey: I think my hair looks cool.