The Spitting Tree/Transcript

[The episode starts off as what it seems to be rain, Jeremy appears]

Jeremy: Oh yeah. This is a nice little spring shower. Oh. [looks up] AAAAHH! [runs away, the rain turns out to be a lot of kids spitting, Princess ends up spitting on Dade]

Dade: Ugh. [Foo shakes excitedly, spits out like a hose, Harvey and Fee laugh]

Fee: So Harvey, having a good time spitting?

Harvey: Oh my gosh, yes! I'm still getting a hang of it though. [Attempting to spit, but ends up drooling instead, wipes drool off] This has been such a crazy day. I've never spit off stuff, or even been up this high before. Attention everybody, thank you all today for being here today to share this special experience. [All clap except for Princess]

Princess: Uh, what?

Fee: Come on dude, this is nothing. Me and Foo do stuff like this all the time.

Harvey: Really? [Lays down] Ooh, tell me more.

Fee: We can take you to the best place to spit in the whole forest.

Harvey: [Gasps] I would very much like that.

Foo: Close your eyes. It will be more fun.

Harvey: [Chuckles] OK. [Foo carries Harvey to a high tree with Fee, Fee and Foo chuckling, Foo let's go of Harvey]

Fee: OK, Harvey, you can open your eyes now. [Harvey opens his eyes, he sees how high he is, Harvey screams, scene cuts to title card, scene goes to kids spitting from the high part of the tree]

Fee: Isn't this great, Harvey?

Harvey: [Nervously] Oh yeah, I love it up here. So, do you think we should go down now?

Dade: You're ding dang right we should. Thank you for saying something sensible Harvey.

Princess: I'll go first! [Starts going down] My dad says I'm the best climber. [Tree bark shakes] I'm gonna climb down this tree right now and show you.

Harvey: Ah geez, Princess, be careful. I don't want you to- (Bark breaks off and Princess falls)

Foo: Bye, Princess!

[Princess still falling and screaming, and breaking off some bark]

Fee: Go, Princess! WOO! [Falling continues, Princess breaks all empty barks from the tree]

Princess: HOOT! [Lands] I'm OK! [Bark Princess broke falls on her]

Kratz: [Sigh] She's dead... [Princess sleeping]

Fee: She's fine, she's just sleeping. Everything's just fine.

Harvey: Actually Fee, when Princess fell she broke off all the branches. How are we supposed to climb down?

Foo: Ohhh...

Harvey: Princess! Princess! Please wake up! We need your help! [Princess still sleeping]

Fee: I know how to wake her up. [Kids start spitting on Princess, Princess wakes up shocked]

Princess: Oh, gross!

Harvey: Can you find us the nearest adult or tall person, and get them so they can come save us?

Princess: I hope you stay up there forever! I HATE you guys! [Walks away] Ugh, spit on me.

Claire: I don't think she's coming back.

Fee: Well, so what? So we're stuck in a tree, with no way to get out, and no one knows we're here, big deal right? [Kratz crying]

Dade: I always knew spitting was evil. Why did I come up here? Why? Oh why? [crying]

Fee: Stop. Stop freaking out already. We're not stuck, OK? I know what to do. [They all hesitate waiting for an answer, Fee whispers] Harvey, I just lied to everybody to get them to shut up. Any ideas?

Harvey: What? Uh... Well, Rooter. You know a lot about out door stuff, right?

Rooter: Aw yeah. I've gotten stuck like this before. You know what I did to survive? I drank my pee!

Harvey: ...OK well, thanks anyway Rooter. If only there was a way to let people know we're stuck up here. [Kratz starts spraying, some gets on Harvey's face, coughs] Ohhh, what the...?!

Technobear: Ugh, (plugs nose) Kratz, that's sick.

Kratz: Sorry. It happens when I get scared. [Sprays] Or nervous. [Sprays] Sometimes when I sleep.

Harvey: Oh, wait. That gives me an idea. [Foo sprays Kratz out the tree]

Foo: HELP! STUCK...IN...TREE! [Spelled out with skunk spray]

Harvey: You guys, it's working! We're gonna by saved! [All cheer, but the wind blows the skunk spray to all kids on the tree, all cough/

Fee: And now we smell bad. Harvey, what do we do?

Harvey: I don't know. I guess we really are stuck up here forever. [Piri Piri and Claire look at each other, Rooter looks down, Technobear lies down, Dade yawns, Harvey slowly walks away from tree trunk a little] It doesn't have to be like this. We can make this work. We can make this work.

Piri Piri: How?

Harvey: We'll stay up here, and we'll build our very own society. I'll be the city planner, because I'm good at planning stuff. Yeah. Fee, you can be the event coordinator.

Fee: Boo!

Harvey: Foo can be the garbage man.

Foo: I like garbage.

Harvey: Dade can be the interior decorator.

Dade: Ah. Well... I mean if you think I can do it Harvey, I...

Harvey: Rooter, you're the news caster. Technobear is the financial advisor. Piri Piri, the food critic. Clair, you're bouqetter. And Kratz, some other thing. As long as we're here together, everything's gonna be OK.

Princess: Ah! Ah!

Harvey: (Squinting) Is that some kind of wounded animal?

Princess: Ah!

Claire: It's Princess! And she brought our parents! We're saved!

Princess: Dad, those are the jerks that spat on me. I don't like them.

Irving: Harvey! Hang on buddy we'll get you down from there soon!

Dr. Roberts: Everyone stand back, I am a doctor. And I have just the thing for the situation. We'll use the power, [Takes crystal out, takes out glasses] of crystals. [Puts crystal down, and makes some sort of noise] OK Princess's friends, go ahead and jump.

Irving: Whoa whoa hey there Dr. Roberts. Why don't we give the kids something, I don't know, SOFT to land on.

Dr. Roberts: Yes indeed, something soft. Like... crystals?

Irving: Oooorrr... pile of leaves?

Dr. Roberts: Leaves, yes. [Miriam, Irving, and Dr. Roberts build the pile of leaves]

Harvey: They want us to JUMP? [Scared, Harvey goes to the tree trunk] Guys, We don't have to do this. We can stay here. Our society?

Technobear: There ain't enough babes in your society.

Piri Piri: I miss my toaster oven.

Claire: Yeah, I wanna go home...

Rooter: All right. We're out of here. [Jumps off tree]

Foo: OK. Bye Kratz. [Throws Kratz off the tree, Technobear jumps off of tree as well, all three land]

Technobear: Hey Mrs. Beaks. 'Sup?

Piri Piri: [Holds Claire's wrist] Come on, Claire. [Both jump off the tree]

Dade: One...Two

Harvey: Hey Dade, you'll stay with me, right?

Dade: Umm...[Walks up to Harvey] Don't get me wrong, there's nothing I'd like more than to make a beautiful life with you, my friend. But, I got a family down there, and a life to live. And so do you. [Running, jumping off the tree] I'll never forget you, Harveeeeeeyyyyyyyyyy... [Harvey looks down]

Fee: What's the matter, dude? [Fee and Foo jump down to Harvey] You scared?

Harvey: [Looks scared] What, me? No, I'm not scared.

Foo: You look scared.

Harvey: I'm not.

Fee: Great! [Both walk towards the edge] Jumping from up here is gonna be awesome! Dude, come on.

Harvey: [Limbs shake nervously like noodle arms] C-C-C-Coming. [Holds tree while making suction cup noises like an octopus] R-R-Ready to go. [Foo stands Harvey up]

Fee: Alright, on three. One, two, three! [The twins jump] Harvey!

Harvey: I can't... [The twins land on leaves]

Miriam: Kids! [Run to the twins] Are you two alright? [They nod]

Irving: Where's Harvey? Oh, you'd think I'd see his big old head in this.

Fee: He didn't jump. [Later, it is raining, Harvey sitting by the tree trunk]

Harvey: Well, guess I'll have to be the event coordinator. And the financial advisor. And the interior decorator.

Foo: Hi Harvey.

Harvey: Ah! Foo! What are you doing back up here?

Fee: You didn't think we'd leave our favorite dork stranded up in a tree, did you?

Harvey: But I...

Fee: Oh yeah. Your parents wanted me to give you this. [Takes picture out of hair] Sorry, my hair kinda made it all crumply. [Harvey takes picture]

Harvey: My Mom and Dad? I lied earlier about being scared.

Fee: Yeah, I kinda figured that out. Look, dude. If you wanna stay up here, that's cool. And if you jump down, that's cool to. Either way, we'll be here with you.

Foo: Yep

Harvey: Cool. [They wait, sun comes out, Harvey looks at picture again] OK, lets go.

Fee: You scared?

Harvey: Yeah, but I'm ready to go home. [All three fall down the tree]

Foo: Harvey!

Fee: Open your eyes! [Harvey opens his eyes, Foo laughing] See Harvey? It's more fun with your eyes open!

Harvey: Woo-hoo! This is awesome! [Irving, Miriam watch and hold hands, other kids watch, Foo lets a bunch of spit out, Fee shakes the contents out of her hair, Harvey succesfully spits, the trio lands on leaves] I did it. [Raises hand] Mom, Dad, did you see that? I thought I was gonna poop my pants. But I didn't poop my pants. It was crazy! It was so fun. I never want to do it again, but it was so fun.

Princess: Glad to be out of that tree. I wish they were still in it. [Spit lands on Princess] Ah! Dad, that spat on me again. Get me some crystals! [Episode ends]